Third Quarter Standout Reads

Seriously… so good it’s almost ridiculous.

A year of incredible reading continued into quarter three!  I DNF’d like a champion, and had a few big disappointments, but overall, the wins just keep coming!  So many, in fact, I had to cull a few from this post to keep it from being too long.*

I decided on these either because I read them obsessively and simply couldn’t put them down, they moved me greatly, or, continuing on the theme that has dominated my reading year, they surprised me by being so much more, better, or different than I anticipated.  In order of my reading, here are some of my best recommendations from my July-September reading!

The Sandersons Fail Manhattan, by Scott Johnston

⭐⭐⭐⭐💫

This is the first of two of my standout reads I have hesitated to recommend, and also that has not been read by a single other person I know. Here we follow The Sandersons, an Upper East Side family of extreme privilege, as they navigate the cut throat world of "acceptance": to the right clubs, right schools, right everything.  As you can tell from the title, things go a bit off course.  Johnston takes a deep dive into the arms race of elite private NYC schools trying to stay relevant and get their students even more of a leg up into the Ivy League.  

This book stings.  It is biting, and you will be uncomfortable.  Johnston takes a hard look at performative virtue, as businesses and organizations seek to outdo one another to be the biggest ally of an underrepresented or oppressed group of people, and how more often that not, this is simply exploitation that just comes down to the bottom line.  He also hits the media and politicians, and the ugliness of greed, ambition, and the thoughtless cruelty of social media.  This book is both incredibly timely -as we see corporations pull out of Pride events that were once of the utmost importance to their value- and a bit late -as the push for DEI has come to an abrupt end.

If you are easily offended, you may want to skip this, as absolutely NO ONE comes out unscathed.  Sometimes I almost felt guilty for reading it.  But the best books often make you squirm a little, and you must remind yourself that this is satire.  I highly recommend this for the right reader.

Loved One, by Aisha Muharrar

⭐⭐⭐⭐💫

This felt new and fresh, and I ended up loving it. Julia's first love and now best friend, Gabe, a professional musician, dies suddenly in a freak accident. Prior to his death, they were in an awkward, difficult phase of their relationship, which also makes Julia's grief over his loss complicated. On top of that, as a favor to Gabe's mother, Julia volunteers to travel to London to find Gabe's current girlfriend, Elizabeth, in an effort to get some of his most sentimental belongings back. This follows Julia on her journey and the relationship that forms between her and Elizabeth.

Grief is hard. Complicated grief is harder, and when things were left unfinished prior to a sudden death... well, it's just a lot. Muharrar, an Emmy winning television writer (she wrote the Parks and Rec Galentine's Day episode!) gets this so right, and without melodrama. I actually went in thinking this might be literary, but it's definitely more upmarket, contemporary fiction. At first, I was afraid I'd walked into a cliche "chick lit" book, but thankfully I was wrong. Once I settled into the tone, I loved it. Muharrar gives these women grieving Gabe so much dignity, and they are full human beings outside of their relationships with him. They aren't catfighting and competing- they are all sorting their grief and their feelings about Gabe. Julia in particular has to confront many things she'd rather not.  This is fresh, fast moving, well written, and has lots of depth.  I highly recommend this.

The Mother Next Door, by Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is an absolutely riveting, well researched, and beautifully presented book of three cases of Munchausen’s By Proxy. This is a tremendous combo of true crime and investigative journalism. If this is a topic you are even mildly interested in, I couldn’t more highly recommend this. I have experienced what I believe to be one case of MBP in my career and this rang incredibly true for me. Utterly devastating.

Disappoint Me, by Nicola Dinan

⭐⭐⭐⭐💫

I went in thinking this was going to be a book about a trans woman experiencing a bit of a quarter life crisis, and questioning what she truly wants from life and relationships. But what I got was not only that, but a real deep (but totally accessible) dive on identity: gender, ethnic, cultural, generational- you name it. Told in chapters both from Max's point of view and of Vincent's, her boyfriend, Dinan examines how we figure out who we are, who others are, how we become those people, and just what expectations and dreams we're "supposed" to have. Are we only who we are now, or who we were at a pivotal moment in the past, or a compilation of things? And how do we decide who others are? Can we change our minds about ourselves, other people, and our relationships to them? Can we decide we want different things than we were once so sure we did- or didn't?

In a slim, very readable, and quick 305 pages, Dinan hits all of this, never making it feel like too much. It's a grace filled examination of our relationships to ourselves, our families, and our friends. The cast of characters here is so well drawn, and fully human. These are smart, thoughtful people mostly wanting to do the right thing, but also so very messy, and shallow, and a little mean, and very, very funny.  Looking for a great book about the experience of being trans? I can't recommend this more. Looking for a book about the experience of living a life, told from the perspective of someone who happens to be trans? Run, don't walk, to pick this one up.

Awake: A Memoir, by Jen Hatmaker

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

In the wee hours of the morning in the summer of 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to hear her husband of 26 years voice texting another woman, and the life she thought she was living ceased to exist. This is the story of not only how she and her children got through such a shattering time, but also some of what got her to this point in the first place.

Jen tells this story with so much compassion and honesty, it is a wonder. While yes, she could squarely and fairly excoriate her ex husband, she chooses instead to take a long look at the systems that got them to where they ended up, his own pain, and the unhealthy behaviors that years of a patriarchal church culture had embedded in her. Jen has done the hard work of unlearning A LOT, an endeavor that many simply find too difficult and painful to face.

Through the telling of a shattering story (remember, she went through this publically, with many watching in glee) she maintains her trademark humor, and never stops talking about the family and friends who help her up along the way. There is light and hope everywhere in this book. It will be in my top of the year, and I definitely recommend it to anyone grieving a loss- of a marriage or a future or an identity. It's never too late, and the circumstances are never permanent. Here, Jen gives us a true guiding light when it comes to living authentically, messily, and joyfully, even in the midst of pain.

When the Cranes Fly South, by Lisa Ridzen

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is not rated five stars because of how much I enjoyed it. In fact, I think it’s one of the saddest books I’ve ever read. I actually very rarely cry or get emotional reading books, and typically the “sadder” a book is supposed to be, the less I like it. I hate feeling as though I’m being emotionally manipulated, and that’s how the vast majority of books that are written to break your heart tend to make me feel.

However, this book drew from a deep well of empathy inside me, and made me think so much of my parents and how difficult it is to watch them grow old and frail and incapable of taking care of themselves at the ends of their lives- of how difficult and frustrating I so often felt like they were being and how hard it was in so many ways. This book was such a reminder of how infinitely more difficult it must be to be the person aging and becoming frail and losing independence and the ability to make choices for their own lives.

I truly think this is one of the most well written books I have ever read. The message comes across so clearly, but with no melodrama and no manipulation of the reader. The author is not going out of her way to break your heart, she’s just telling the truth. I can’t more highly recommend this book, but know it’s difficult from the first page to the last, but also incredibly beautiful and incredibly important.

Moderation, by Elaine Castillo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Not one thing here should've worked, and on paper I should not have even liked this. An examination of the high tech/VR world and the bleak experience of content moderation? Pass. Couple that with a romance, which is another genre I avoid? Pass. But the combo, and the even more confusing description of the romance as a Regency romance had me incredibly intrigued, and I had an unused Aardvark credit, so what the hell? WELL...

Not only did these two plot points work incredibly well together, this book is also about so much more. As much a Regency-type romance set in the world of high tech, this is very, very much about the immigrant experience in America; it's a book about striving, about succeeding, about being the caretaker of the family, and proving one's worth. It's about the armor we put on to get through the day to conceal our vulnerabilities, and it is very much about grief and trauma. We even get some lessons on tech-overreach and corporate espionage... and it ALL works. At nearly the halfway mark, I told a friend I wasn't sure if I was enjoying it or if I just admired what Castillo was doing here. By 60%, I couldn't stop thinking about it and picked it up every chance I got. I honestly don't know a single person I could confidently recommend this to, but I really want others to pick this up and give it a try! It will undoubtedly be in my top of the year. If you're interested in trying something completely different, give this novel a try!

*Honorable mentions to Know My Name by Chanel Miller which has been written about SO much; Life, Death, and Giants, by Ron Rindo;  The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy; and These Heathens by Mia McKenzie